Every great tale has a great moral. Titanic: don’t mess with nature. Jurassic Park: don’t mess with DNA. The Fast and the Furious: don’t mess with Vin Diesel.
And I think you’ll find that the most important moral of the original 1976 version of Stephen King’s Carrie is, please for the love of mercy, don’t mess with a girl on her ‘time of the month’.
Especially when she’s got a crazy Evangelist redhead for a mother who traps her in a closet to pray for forgiveness when her body kicks into Turning into a Grown Woman mode in the middle of gym class.
It doesn’t help that she goes to school with 500 girls all with the evil levels of Attila the Hun and Regina George combined.
But don’t worry! It’s being dragged up to date in a new version directed by Kimberly Peirce (the brains behind 90s classic Boys Don’t Cry) and will star Chloe Grace Moretz as Carrie and ginger genius Julianne Moore as her unhinged red-haired mother, Margaret.
So instead of dodgy corn syrup and an even dodgier mullet sported by one John Travolta, we’ll get HitGirl with scarier eyes, and I’m guessing as many pyrotechnics that Hollywood can afford to hurl at you.
This will be Mean Girls without the Tina Fey whimsy and with a lot more ketchup.
This will be scary, and will probably be used as anti-bullying educational film.
It’s set for release on 18 October in the US and Canada, and 29 November in the UK.
Check out the trailer above. Enjoy!