Out Now: Titanic in 3D

“I’ll never let go. I promise…”

 

Oh, Rosie. We’ll never let go either. It’s been fifteen years since you lay on that floating door freezing your phalanges off in the middle of the Atlantic, all in the name of luuuuurve (and it may also have had something to do with that moderately mahoosive shipwreck) and yet we still can’t seem to shake that Celine Dion song from our heads.

So yes. It’s the 3D event you’ve all been waiting for (because you always knew it was coming, James Cameron is a sucker for 3D and dollars. He’s getting lots of both from this)…TITANIC. IN 3D. What an ultimate combination.

Under the premise of the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Unsinkable Ship (oh, the irony), Titanic has been remastered, rewired, reworked and now requires the watcher to wear ridiculous glasses to see it. So now we can see every glorious red hair on Kate Winslet’s glorious red head. Hoorah! My life is now complete!

 

 

I’m being irritatingly sarcastic, I know. But I don’t mean it, honest. I’ll tell you a story.

I was five years old when Titanic was released. It was a certificate 12, so it’s not like I could doll myself up in five inches of make up and borrow someone’s ID to see it at the cinema. I remember seeing the advert for it on the TV, and at five years old you don’t ask for much in a film. Up until that point in my life I’d survived on Disney animations and Robin Williams (FYI, my favourites from Mr. Hairy Knuckles are still Mrs. Doubtfire and Jumanji) but this was brand new. Yes, we still had a pretty lady up front who wore gorgeous costumes and had a gorgeous boy loving her, but these two were in serious trouble now. This wasn’t the “mild peril” Disney video boxes warned me about. This was proper, nail-biting, fight-for-your-life stuff.

So, I had to wait a hideous amount of time for it come out on video. And when it did, oh boy, did I fall in love. From that very first sepia-toned shot of passengers waving their final farewells to Southampton, I was hooked. Nothing could interrupt my reverie for the next three and a half hours, even if my own house started sinking. I can’t even pinpoint what it was that hooked me. Was it the epic romance, and the constant obstacles of class between Jack and Rose? Was it the smack your gob awesome graphics? Or was it just the fact that FINALLY, we had a ginger heroine to be proud of, with a temperament as fiery as the hairs on her head?

I asked my sister what she thought it was that made Titanic so gosh darned amazing. She paused for a few moments, pondering, looking a little puzzled. Then answered sheepishly: “It might be something to do with Leonardo DiCaprio being beautiful..?”

 

 

So, Ginger Parrot buckled in to watch it in 3D, armed with tissues and a leftover Easter egg.

It’s an odd sensation to watch something in the cinema that you’ve already seen before, I’ll give you that. Especially something that I watched every day for about two years as a young’un. But it was just as glorious as I remember it to be. I still knew every word, remembered every piece of music, and even noticed bits that I never noticed before. For example, I finally heard where Cameron stuck the Wilhelm scream (keep your ears open. It’s not obvious, but it’s definitely there) and I never realised, but you can very easily entertain yourself while watching this by playing a game of Count the Carrot Tops. I got up to nine, but I’m positive that there are more. There are fair amount of redheaded beauties among the toffs above decks, as well as below.

But according to some mental sailors’ superstitions, having redheads on board your ship means it’s a voyage doomed for failure. An article in the Metro has stated that some crew were worried as soon as they saw a ginger walking up the gangplank onto the ship. Hmmm, maybe it was Rose’s fault after all…? I mean, the horny sailors in the crow’s nest were perving on her and Jack kissing rather than keeping an eye out for icebergs.

(FYI, I know it wasn’t her fault.)

 

 

The whole point of this was the 3D. I am a sceptic of 3D movies, and I maintain that the best 3D movie I ever saw was The Polar Express. But I get that 3D is expensive and takes a lot of extra time, but in so many new releases, directors forget about the basic principles of filmmaking because they’re concentrating too hard on making a missile feel like it’s going to blast your face off. While there were a few shots in Titanic that made my stomach churn, like the high angle view of the ocean from the stern as Rose ponders suicide, sadly, I remain unconvinced. The 3D created too much distance between foreground and background action, which for me took away a lot of the intensity in the emotion, rather than involving me in it more.

In whatever ways it failed as a 3D movie, I was still glad of it returning to the cinemas. Everyone that was alive when it came out is now old enough to watch it in on the big screen, which is what it really needs. For people who ever feel alienated by the movies that are raved about at the Oscars, Titanic was one of the few that they could get behind.

Cameron is great at the scripts for the masses, but really pulls out the stops when it comes to technicalities and details, which is why it won 11 Academy Awards, the most in history joined with Ben Hur and The Return of the King. We could wail for hours about the CGI, the costumes, the music that makes you cry, the flawless editing, the stunning cinematography, and the gorgeously authentic art direction. We could even blather on about Rose and Jack, and what an awesome couple Kate Winslet and Leonardo diCaprio could be in real life, but let’s get to the bottom of why Titanic has, and always will, stand the test of time:

It’s just a great film about love and the will to survive. And in life, that’s what it’s all about.

(…not the Hokey Cokey.)

 

But for those of you who haven’t quite got four hours to spend in the cinema, here’s Titanic in five seconds…

 

By Lizzie

Comments

Lizzie, despite being a non-ginger (besides her genes), loves redheads and her freshly dyed red hair.She also loves political satire, vintage fairs, Yorkshire Tea and people with the surname ‘Weasley’. One day, she hopes to be opening letters addressed to Mrs. L. Cumberbatch, but until then she’ll be travelling for long periods of time in campervans and attending every music festival she comes across.And if Caitlin Moran is ever up for Prime Minister, she will get Lizzie’s vote, no problem.

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